Top Reasons Why You Should Play GONG!

Hey, guys. With the upcoming release of GONG!, people are asking several sorts of questions. What’s GONG!? How do we play GONG!? WHY should we play GONG!? Here are some reasons why you should play GONG!

  • If you think pushing keys in time with some stupid song is for retards and monkeys, then GONG! is the perfect game for you. You won’t be dumbed down by GONG! with some sort of sick operant conditioning that involves the continuous pressing of keys like some behavioral experiment conducted on animals.
  • Other casual games can be played by zombies, and other creatures who no longer have sentient brain functions. You just have to press keys repeatedly. GONG! isn’t like that. GONG! involves strategy, teamwork, and luck.
  • GONG! helps you and your mates bond closer. Other casual games build autism with their constant demand for single players to concentrate while pressing keys in some trance-like, unthinking state. GONG! is the DotA of soccer. Playing GONG! is a social experience. Don’t be some anti-social freak who don’t talk to anyone while pressing keys, be a GONGSTER!
  • GONG! is free to play. Like, seriously. BUT, more than that, if you got the dough to spend, then splurge, baby, splurge. Only GONG! offers skills, and stats, for sale along with stylish costumes. Don’t wanna spend a cent? Go ahead, and just play. You get skills, stats, and “star points” anyway.
  • Because of this skill called– “Mama’s Call”. Mama’s Call is the most intense, most terrifying, the most hardcore skill in the history of all video games. After all, who’s gonna beat yo’ momma? That’s right. “Mama’s Call” lets you call on your opponent’s Momma, and have her whack him/her senseless. What’s cooler than that?
  • It’s by mobiusgames and TOSE! That means you get the mobiusgames brand of excellence in bringing you the best services, best online solutions, and the best gaming experience possible! Oh, and if you’re wondering about TOSE, well, that’s a nifty link up there you can click and read up on.
  • GONG! is so easy to play, you can play it using just one hand while your other… is busy doing something else. Srsly! There’s an option that allows you to totally control your character using just the mouse! That leaves you one extra arm free! That’s like growing an extra arm! Now, what other game can grow you a third arm, eh? Only GONG! has the power to give you that extra limb. It’s like magic. It’s like awesomeness concentrated and digitalized.
  • Because mobiusgames is bringing you GONG! fresh from its source! That’s right. Straight from Shanghai, where GONG! is currently in service, mobiusgames is bringing GONG! to the Philippines, Singapore, and Malaysia, waaaay ahead before it reaches the rest of the world!
  • Because other games just downright sucks. Well, except other mobiusgames titles. After all, we’re more than just games. We’re mobiusgames.
  • Because even Chuck Norris plays GONG! Well, he will when he’s done saving the world, and all the kittehs from harm.
  • GONG! is eco-friendly. Do you know that no trees were harm in the making of GONG! ?
  • Play GONG! and you get the chance to go to BORACAY! Seriously! Well, at least, go to Boracay in-game! There are two Boracay maps to choose from, so, while some of your friends are spending thousands of money getting skin cancer on the real Boracay, you can just stay at home, play GONG!, and experience the same thing (sans skin cancer)!!! Isn’t that awesome?
  • 30% of the time, GONG! makes you more attractive to the opposite sex EVERYTIME! Yeah, wrap your minds around that one, chumps.
  • Playing GONG! is better than sticking with a sickeningly cute 2D mmorpg that’s gone stale over the years! GONG! is fresh! GONG! is in 3D! and GONG! is building an ark to save those who wanna go!
  • GONG! doesn’t just kick balls, GONG! crushes balls, and leaves other games in pain until they cry “Uncle”. We’re hardcore like that, and we do it so cutely. and in 3D. and for FREE. Awesome.

Now, why are you still reading this article? Go ahead and play GONG! (when it comes out), and start finding out your own reason for playing GONG!.

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1 Comment

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